Job application

by CKjaerL · March 13, 2020

Dear (hopefully) future employer
I think I would be the perfect fit
For the (whatever it was) job
And here’s why:

I am as steady a worker as any
(Since I have no life)
I am flexible with the work hours
(Since I’m incapable of leaving a job unfinished)

I am hardworking beyond belief
(In fact I always give more than I have)
I am perfectionistic to the extreme
(In fact it gave me stress)

I am creatively efficient
(Or maybe I’m just imagining that)
I am ambitious with my work
(With work, work, and only work)

I am meticulously detailed oriented
(And apparently without humor)
I am deeply devoted
(To everyone but myself)

I can take on responsibility when needed
(For everything except my mental health)
I can take initiative
(For everything except getting help)

I am, in short, the perfect applicant.
Too bad all those things
Are the reasons I need therapy.

Best of wishes
Carina

Mail: NotGonnaHappen@KeepWishing.com