A Few Seconds

For just a few seconds
He was alive.
For just a few seconds
Stuck between the fading dreamworld
And advancing reality
He was there.
I could have called him.
I could have spoken to him.
For just a few short seconds,
And then I remembered.
I remembered the tear-struck goodbyes
The gathering around the deathbed
The crowded funeral.
After just a few seconds
I remembered
And the fist taking my heart hostage
Unclenched.
Evaporated.
I felt relieved
I might even have smiled.
He never suffered like that
He went home.

Written on November 5th 2017, at 5:22AM. RIP grandpa.