Chapter 7 – Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Outside the ocean was rocking gently, the cold western winds barely stirring it, though they were freezing cold. There was yet no snow, and to be honest, no one in the party was really expecting any, even if it was more likely to occur in small, Nordic Denmark than the comparatively more southern New York. Despite the Danish weather disappointing, Max and Ian didn’t, and with them, on top of presents and mistletoe, they had brought an American tradition: awkward family photos in ugly Christmas sweaters. 

The entire family, all ten of them, were gathered outside in the freezing cold to get a picture that could fit them all in, everyone spotting a bright green sweater with gold tinsel sewed on in spirals around the torso and arms, and with multi colored baubles hanging from the tinsel. Jor wore the sweater as a hat, being too big to fit into it any other way. Fenrir wore his as a sock and was holding up his sweatered paw like a fancy lady waiting for a suitor to kiss her hand. Sleipnir, despite his many legs, had left the sleeves empty and was wearing the sweater as more of a neck warmer than anything else, the sleeves hanging limply from the sides. Vali was wearing his as a shirt despite his wolf form, as were the others – with varying degrees of sleeves being too long or shoulders stretching the fabric. Ian’s camera had been positioned on a tripod, and with Jor crouching down behind them and Fenrir lying down, they could all just fit into frame. 

“On the count of three say ‘cheese’,” Ian instructed, ready to snap the picture with the help of an app on his phone. “1,” he said loudly. “2,” he called. “3,” he announced. 

“Cheese!” they all shouted. 

“Ost,” Loki shouted. 

First photo.

Jor took up half the frame in the background. Fenrir took up half of the remaining frame even lying down. Hel’s sweater looked wonky and wrong on her half skeleton body, one side being filled out nicely and fitting quite well, the other half hanging as loosely as on a coat hanger except for her ribs which could be seen quite clearly through the fabric. Max and Ian were standing with their arms around each other, smiling properly as one should for a family picture. Sleipnir was looking sideways at Loki, who was smiling brightly and mischievously next to Sigyn who had turned her eyes upwards at his little joke. Nari had his arm flung lovingly over his brother’s back. It was, in short, a proper family photo, with the majority looking nice and being ready, and one or two people spoiling the perfect photo. 

Second photo

Jor’s sweater hat was sliding off, Ian’s hand was sliding further down Max’s back, Hel’s sweater was nestling inside her hips bone, and Fenrir was snarling angrily at Sleipnir who had accidentally stepped on Fenrir’s fur. 

Third photo

Ian’s face was lit with surprise and indignity as Max pinched his ass hard. Loki was looking at the two men with a huge grin on his face, almost as if sad Max had gotten the idea before him. 

Fourth photo

Fenrir rested his sweatered paw on Hel’s head, making her look up at him in annoyance only a sister could portray. Vali nudged Nari in the ribs with his snout for some reason only the two boys would ever know. Jor was grinning down at them all, somehow – despite the lack of physical resemblance – with eyes so undoubtedly Loki-like one would think Loki was both father and mother to the serpent. 

Fifth photo 

A huge wave of water rose up behind the party, none of whom had quite realized what was happening yet. Ian wore a mildly curious look in his raised eyebrow, having heard the sound, but not understood it yet. Sigyn was turned half way around to look out at the water behind them, but her eyes hadn’t yet focused on the impending doom. Hel and Fenrir both were raising their eyes to Jor, as if instinctively – as only siblings can – knowing who would be to blame for whatever happened next. Vali and Nari were looking into the camera as instructed, smiling and being dutiful sons. 

Sixth photo

A huge wave of water splashed down over all of them. Everyone was ducking their heads and throwing their arms up to protect themselves from the icy cold seawater – or for those who had no arms, simply hunching their shoulders and drawing their heads in as far in as they could. 

Seventh photo 

Dripping wet and freezing cold, the whole family glared unamused up at Jor – that is, the whole family except, obvious, Jor, who was looking very pleased indeed, and also Loki, who was giving the thumbs up to the camera and smiling widely with pride. 

“What the fuck, Jor,” Ian exclaimed grumpily, looking at his rather wet phone and the camera which had also gotten a fair share of the water. 

“Perhaps that is enough,” Max said softly with a look at the downcast eyes and hung head of Jor. 

“I think you are right,” Sigyn agreed. Ian picked up his camera and carried it inside. Five minutes later the sweaters all lay discarded throughout the house as people opted for either drying their fur by the fire or enjoying a nice hot bath – Max and Ian even opting for sharing said bath. The rest of the day became a matter of whether you put marshmallows or whipped cream in hot chocolate, and how fast Sigyn could make the buns – answer was: not fast enough. By the time the buns were finally ready to be taken out of the oven (and by the time Ian came downstairs again, hair still wet, but no longer chilled to the bone), a fresh pot of hot chocolate was demanded. Max joined them a little later too, having taken the time to call his sister and check up on his nieces and nephews. 

“Sorry for shouting, buddy,” Ian told Jor. “You couldn’t have known technology can’t handle water.” He padded the serpent on the cheek, the highest part he could comfortably reach, and in return received an apoplectic and soft shove. “It’s all good,” he assured Jor. “Nothing broke, everything still works as it should. And,” he added after a moment’s hesitation. “We did get some pretty cool pictures.” He connected the camera to the new TV, and soon the whole house was laughingly imitating the expressions of the others or making fun of their own funny faces. The whole island particularly shook with laughter as Max let out a surprised howl when Ian got him back for the earlier ass pinch. 

Hel declared that the sixth photo was “the one”, and asked Ian to get a professional print of it to put in her empty frame to complete her collection of “monster pictures”. 

More than half of the Yule days have now passed by, only five yet to come. Apart from board games and a Marvel movie marathon, what will the little gang find to do now?